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Saturday, April 29, 2017

An induction introduction

I have not been looking forward to this event. But now that it is over, I wonder why I had made such a fuss of it in the first place.
April showers have always been exciting for me as a Midwesterner. Early spring hail storms, tornado sirens and lightning.
As a child I remember being frightened by the danger, but I think there has always been a part of me that enjoyed the idea of it, but none of me that enjoyed the 'thrill' of it.
After our long term move down to Guatemala, I have had to trade 'April Showers' for hopefully some rain in May or at least by June. We have been grateful to get about 4 inches of rain over the last two weeks, and the stifling heat has taken a back seat to stifling heat and humidity. The grass is growing again, and the bugs are hatching. We haven't had 'swarming termite season' yet, and that's a real doosey. 

Progress on the house has continued this month with focus on the roof and subsequently, the ceiling. Since it has been raining a little,  as I mentioned, this was a great accomplishment.  We have been building doors, and with those hung, we will be able to begin installing bathroom fixtures, and a slightly functional kitchen. We will still have all light fixtures and the entire second story floor at some point... but we are getting closer.
Another evening without power. 

With the prospect of rain in the near future, the rush to cultivate and plant the local crops is in full swing. It is common for a family to work together to prepare their fields by hand, with a hoe or pic. Some families will use a team of oxen, or hire someone else to  use their own team. As a ministry, we are able to provide people in the surrounding area the option of having their ground worked by tractor.. John Deere 4020 style.  Regardless of the method or the means, we all share the same optimism for the coming growing season. 
Late April also brings about another seasonal change for me. For the last few years I have dreaded its coming and also its lasting effects.
Me,as an infant
I reached 31 years old this year, and though you probably didn't have to guess it, this has made me more contemplative than normal.  I have been thinking of what it may be like to enter into my '30s', where my mother was in life when she entered her 30s, and if I am half the woman she was at my age.  I think of my little brother and how he never had grey hairs like the ones I complain about, or the sun/age spots I fight to keep away. I think about breast cancer screenings, and how i am no 'spring chicken' with all my aches and pains, and osteoporosis... just kidding on that last one. I am not loosing sleep over any of these things, but I have definitely caught myself staring off, longer than normal, looking for something.
My mother 
I think in general it just makes me look into my past. Unfortunately, memories of my brother or some resemblance of my mother or typically some of the paths my mind will travel down. Memory lane? Maybe. I guess if I don't find it, I will keep looking. What is it that makes me yearn for vivid memories of her? Is it a testament to her lasting impact on me as daughter? Or just my normalcy?  I often forget that Kevin is gone, only for an instant, only to be jolted back to reality, merciless reality. Leave it to me to take a celebration of life, ones birthday, and turn it into a part of the continual grieving process. I guess in a way, what better way to appreciate life for what it is, and the promises that it holds then to look at what it once was, and the fragility of it. And yet, inside of all that, the resilience with which we can all live on, in who we leave behind, and ultimately, where we dwell eternally.
Typically, we try to ignore our own mortality, but being here in Guatemala, where we live neighboring to the hospital, this is impossible. We have seen newborns rushed off by airplane only to succumb to their fragile weakness. We have had elderly patients brought to us, from villages hours away, our only offering, the suggestion to go home and embrace, best they can with family, the end of their life. We cant possibly fix the cycle of life here, or anywhere. But we continue to show love to all who we come into contact with, in hopes of showing some glimpse into the affection and waiting embrace of a loving creator.
I am a missionary, mostly by marriage, but a large part of me hopes, and at times believes, I have a calling here on my own.  I know we are shaped by our experiences, and our reactions to those experiences. I am a little spellbound by how my journey and survival thus far is supposed to help others.
I guess its not really up to me to have a 'plan for attack' when it comes to mission-hood. 

The backup generator

For now, most of my energy is consumed by those inside my gene pool. The minutes between I spend emailing, cooking for guests, fulfilling random requests from the construction crew or hospital staff and even emergency triage.
We continue to work on the hospital as needed, and on the house when we can. I have been helping laboring mothers in my, unofficial, Douala apprenticeship. I really enjoy being involved but I don]t like the stress and worry that comes with it.

We have another full calendar this month. We will work towards getting the X Ray machine up and running as a Bio med Engineer will be joining us from Samaritans purse. We also have a nurse anesthetist coming for a week, who will look at our realistic abilities in regards to anesthesia. 
We thank you for your continued interest, prayers and support as we continue to push through each day of 'mission-hood'. We couldn't do any of the things we do without your help.
To learn more about Adonai in Guatemala or how to get involved, you can check out
Adonai4me.org
and to make donations easily via PayPal, you can follow this link.

Donations made on a monthly basis help us budget and plan to make the most of all resources.  Anything and everything is appreciated.








3 comments:

  1. I truly enjoyed this one…sharing of your grief for your brother and mother (one will miss them forever), her photo, the reality…I feel I get to know you a bit more. So sad we live so far and we are all so busy. I would enjoy spending more time with you. Glad you have gotten rain, there is so much that comes with it, mostly good. I used to complain about it but Leslie taught me to embrace it as it is life for the locals. Blessings to you!

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  2. Dear Sister, Dear Heart,
    Calling? Wait a couple of days and read this note again. Then ask is God at work in you? If you can't see it, those around you do, I do and I don't get to see but about once every two or three YEARS!. "merciless, reality" what a phrase. Awesome thought. I am going to push it back at you... You are, the rest of the Ficker's are, down here we are in the LORD's harvest field (Mat 9:38  Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he send forth laborers into his harvest. ) The greek word for send forth is ekbolla - it is a little more 'violent' than 'send' . Cast / push aggressively, chuckle. At 30 yrs old I could not imagine being and doing what we are doing now. LOL I certainly feel pushed into this on occasions. So you/the rest of the Fickers and we McCutcheons are the sent ones - the PUSHED ones of our Merciful, Redeeming LORD given the blessing of adding to His Harvest in His strength. Sort of like getting into the swimming pool in early spring... stick a toe in and then someone from behind pushes you. GASP! Here we are sister doing that which we could not imagine a short time ago, learning more of the Lover of our Souls - ain't it great!?! Really good blog post Katie.

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  3. Hey Taters. As always it's always nice to hear from you and see what's going on.

    I think I remember taking that picture? That was 100 years ago I think. I think the best trait your Mom had that I would like to see you live up to is that she didn't try to live up to anyone's expectations or judgments. She did what she thought was right and really approached the world like a child, completely trusting and with no ulterior motives. that is a rare quality.

    I am progressing in my mourning for Kevin. I catch myself watching a movie and thinking I can't wait to tell Kevin about this and have a heated discussion about it. oops! But I find myself thinking not about how much he missed and was cheated out of, but by how much he accomplished and the interesting person that he became. He too didn't really care about others opinions, and was trusting, but well aware when someone was trying to play him. He loved it because then he did his best to play them and make them crazy, all the while laughing at them.

    Take care Katie, love you all!

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